Happy Birthday To Me
I'm 37 today. Holy shit.
I used to get carded for booze until my early 30's. Sometimes I still do, especially if I wear a ballcap and no makeup. I have muscles and wear a size 6. I'm painting all the time now, something I wasn't always able to do, creating the best work I have in years. I have real love in my life...Matt is absolutely wonderful and we have a happy home. I am closer to my family now, even more so than when I was still living in MA. I have wonderful friends who care about me and who'd help me out in a second.
It ain't perfect...the money situation is scary, we are always living on the edge. But I like edges. If it weren't for taking risks and making mistakes maybe I'd have a more sedate and predictable life, but I doubt it would be as authentic. I never would have left home to see most of my country. Never would have met all the cool people I met. Never would have found my artistic vision and the drive to fulfill it. Never would have found Matt, again. Never would have brushed off so many negative people and influences in my life that held me back for years, to find positive people and influences instead.
Getting older never really scared me. Most women abhor the idea of reaching 30, but I loved it. It was as if I earned something worthy. Now, with 40 staring me down, I feel a little fear, but not too much. I have big plans. Not too sure if they will all pan out, but that's no reason not to pursue them. What's next? Well, I know for one thing, I will keep painting. Matt and I are talking about living abroad for a year, maybe more. Motorcycling Europe? Learning to paint fresco in Italy? Sure, why not? Even if we don't make it right away, we still have plenty to do right here.
Not to get all existential on your ass, but as I said before I'll say it again....life is to be enjoyed right here, right now. No one really knows what the afterlife holds or whether there even is one. So get busy, people.
It's exciting, this life.
posted by Bostonbootgirl at 8:53 AM
3 Comments:
I totally forgot about your birthday!! Sorry chickidee and happy birthday. You're absolutely right - I spent the year between 29 and 30 freaking out a little bit, but the day I actually turned 30 was like "Hey, look at that - it's not real different." Not very profound, but I did start to realize that everything that had happened to me, for good or ill, shaped me into the person I was (still) becoming and I needed to stop worrying about what had happened and what was to come.
Enjoy whatever life has in store for you, and know that (without sounding too sappy) that you have a friend while far away, is one of those who care about you.
Happy Birthday! (late - sorry)
Age is a state of mind - if you think you're old, you're gonna be old. I'm not that far behind you old ladies (tee-hee... had to, sorry), so I know what it's like. I have to stop and ask myself sometimes how old I am.
And you get one shot at this life. Make the most of it. If Europe looks possible, do it. Don't second guess yourself. As Moose basically said, your friends will always be there when you need them. When an opportunity comes around, they'll understand if you take it and go to the other side of the world.
Thanks guys! So glad I've run into you both again.
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